Q: What is the definition of Confidence?
A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next!"

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "coping with darkness"

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the **** out of the dog.

Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

Q. What do women and prawns have in common?
A. There heads are full of **** but the pink bits taste great

Q. What's the definition of "trust"?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "It might take me a while to get hard I just got laid last night

Q: What do Kodak and condoms have in common?
A: They both capture the moment.

Q: What's got 90 balls and makes women sweat?
A: Bingo.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer
in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.

Q: What's got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog.

:)

-- Edited by zlappfisk at 15:51, 2005-04-28