Jeg er ikke en komplett idiot. Noen deler mangler

- Ukjent

-- Edited by Torbear at 18:22, 2006-03-12

vel. jeg samlet en haug med sitater jeg likte for noen år siden. jeg kan like gjerne poste alle sammen her (de to jeg allerede har skrevet er også her):


Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.


I either want less corruption, or a chance to get in on it.


I like the word 'indolence.' It makes my laziness seem classy. -Bern Williams


I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check. -Escher


I used to be indecisive, now I'm not sure.


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.


I went to a general store, they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.


I'm always, more or less, exact and precise . . . usually


I'm having an out of money experience.


I'm not crazy . . . I just have a unique sense of reality.


If I can be of any help you're in worse trouble than I thought.


If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?


If progress is to move forward what does congress mean?


How come they call them buildings if they've already been built?


Asking whether machines can think is like asking whether submarines can swim.


If a picture is worth a thousand words then why is the book always better than the movie?


My eyes have been open for quite some time and rarely have words flashed before them in such spectacular combinations.


Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

David Leyse


If it weren't for me, there'd just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.


In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.


I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.


I have not yet begun to procrastinate.


Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. - James T. Hammond


If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


Only through hard work and perseverance can one truly suffer.


Wisdom consists of having a great deal to say, and not saying it.


Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for pretty much the same reasons.


Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and irritates the pig. - Khaled


"Never let anyone drive you crazy when you know that it is within walking distance."


"What lies behind you & what lies before you are tiny matters compared to what lies within you."

Emerson


"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." Chinese Proverb


"If your dreams turn to dust . . . vacuum" Chantelle


5% of people make things happen, 10% of people watch things happen, and the other 85% ask "What happened?"


If you're about to get in a fight you know your going to lose, get naked. No one wants to grapple with a naked man. - Jack Handey


All lies lead to the truth. X-files


Hope is killing me! -George Kristanza


Courage is not a lack of fear, it is simultaneously acknowledging the fear and confronting it anyway

Nick's Godfather


Some people say that if you don't drink you'll live longer, but that's not true, it just seems longer.

Michael Jackson


People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.

- Emerson


Life is like an essay test, there are no right or wrong answers . . . but you can still fail.


What exactly does land of the free mean?


I used to get more than I paid for, but that cost me way too much.


A bad memory can be great exercise.


I was shaken from reality and left in a world that thinks I'm crazy . . . it's here that I get to stay


Has anyone seen a path around here?


A light you will see was once shown to me, a man revealing eternity


Challenge yourself to fail.


Does it seem strange that plants can be illegal while weapons are a constitutional right?


Happiness is not wanting what you don't have.


Judge people less on their mistakes than on how they handle their mistakes.


We are our own ancestors.


Just because I don't know where I'm going doesn't mean I don't know how to get there.


A book is like a leg, only it doesn't bleed as much if you stab it.


A closed mouth gathers no foot.


A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.


A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.


A mind is a terrible thing to taste.


A motion to adjourn is always in order.


No man is smart, except by comparison to those who know less. Watson Howe


"I is he," says me.


A Friend of Mind


Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling. Margoret Lee Runbeck


Already know you that which you need.

Yoda


Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.

Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi


Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects

-Will Rogers


It's only when we stop trying to control life that we can begin to enjoy it.

Suarez, Mills, Stewart


The greater the challenge, the greater the opportunity for growth.

Vernon Howard


The deeper the involvement, the freer the mind and the greater the joy.

Kausen & Pransky


Mind creates the abyss, the heart crosses it.

Sri Nisargadatte Maharaj


The arrow that hit the bull's eye is the result of one hundred previous misses.

David Reynolds


If you don't make mistakes it means you're not really trying . . . you're probably boring too.

Alan Cohen


A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.


People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them.

Epicetetus


Our enemies are sacred because they make us strong.

Native American saying


Giving is true having.

Spurgeon


You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. Chinese proverb


You can't be a warrior if you never leave the house.


Life is all possibilities.


Wise are the ones who ask the right questions?


?You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.

?-- Galileo


? You can't be miserable if you're enjoying yourself.

R.D. Laing


When you're going through hell, don't stop.


You have to make the salad before you can add the toppings.

Maharaji (in a lucid dream)


Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.


Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.


For peace of mind resign your position as general manager of the universe.


Remove your attention from that which you do not wish to create. Joe Bailey


You have nobler things to do than merely die.

Sathya Sai Baba


It is a much cleverer thing to talk nonsense than to listen to it.

Oscar Wilde


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde


I'm never wrong. I thought I was once, but I was mistaken.


Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.


Experience: A name we give to our mistakes.


f u cn rd this, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.


Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.


Clones are people II.


It said in the sand, all is permanent. - sg


Whatever you think is right. If you think you can do it you're right. If you think you can't you're right.


" Time does not ebb and flow - it is we, ourselves which do"


Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth. -- Socrates


Let others take their own way, and I take my own. - Japanese proverb


He who thinks he knows everything has a lot to learn.


Don't drink and park - accidents cause people


If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.


Drive defensively, buy a tank.


Famous last words: Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.


Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog--


Famous last words: Don't worry, it's not loaded.


If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.


Reality is a figment of your imagination.


You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.


I'm objective; I object to everything


Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic


Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.


Your lucky color has faded.


No matter where you go; you're there.


Life's biggest question is whether or not you're happy - not with others, but with yourself.


Love isn't love until you give it away.


If you knew what you were doing, you'd be bored.


Pets aren't dangerous; just don't let them carry guns.


You can't dream too much; you can't do enough to make your dreams come true.


Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.


If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.


Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.


Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.


The world is coming to an end. Please log off.


No one is perfect, but some of us are closer than others


No one is perfect. Hi! my name is No one


Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse behind.


Fun is just point of view.


If you understand something today, it must be obsolete.


My rules apply only to other people, not myself.


In God we trust; all others must pay cash.


It's only hopeless if you walk away.


Imagination is the foundation of reality.


Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.


The real trick to carrying on is not getting carried away.


Everything is possible; just not too probable.


Since when is talking a sign of thinking?


Looking to God for answers is premature.


Why should I grow up? This is more fun!


I have crossed and recrossed the line between sanity and madness so many times that I have all but rubbed it out.


Reality is all a point of view.


Don't play with your food, especially after you've already eaten it.


Hugs don't feel as good on the computer.


Change a life; make someone feel important.


Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.


It's all a pigment of your hallucination.


Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest sonofabitch in the valley.


Consider yourself hugged.


In theory, everything works.


Life is recursive.


The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.


Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from two or more.


Death is the consequence of being alive.


Getting old is not so bad - the alternate taken in consideration


Life's a beach, and then you drown.


Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.


Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.


People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.


Have a nice day . . . somewhere else.


Was today really necessary?


Life without bears would be unbearable.


Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself.


Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!


You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core . . . I like that in a person.


It's been Monday all week.


When all else fails, lower your standards.


Why be normal?


I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference.


'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.


Don't take life too seriously; it's not permanent.


I'm only a hypochondriac when I'm feeling sick.


I don't think I'd be so bored if I didn't have so much to do.


It's an IBM; it's got an excuse.


No matter how bad a situation is, if you can't laugh at it, you are in really deep sh*t.


Cute and interesting are two different things.


It's your right to be stupid, but it doesn't mean you should be.


Life's a trip and then you run out of Travelers' Checks.


If life's a trip, then where's my ticket?


If you're gonna' panic, panic constructively.


Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.


Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.


Wouldn't it be nice if there was an Escape key for all of our problems?


I know my biology; it's your biology I don't know.


Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.


Gravity always gets me down.


I'm serious; it was a joke.


If we're going to have fun, we've got to be serious about it.


If I can't fix it, it ain't broken.


For him to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.


I'm not a creep; I'm actually a wonderful person hiding inside the body of a creep.


I'm not crazy; I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic.


Being good at being stupid doesn't count.


Some have morals, some don't, most simply ignore them.


You can't be late until you show up.


It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.


You've gotta' die in creative ways.


They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck.


It's beautiful the way it is; why spoil it by making it legal?


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.


Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it.


Of course there is no reason for it, it's just my policy.


Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?


A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.


Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.


All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.


My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.


Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they AREN'T after you.


Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.


Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere.


They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.


When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.


Don't tell me any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.


Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.


If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.


Laughter is the closest distance between two people.


Kiss your keyboard goodbye!


If you are feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.


Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.


Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.


Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.


I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.


There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.


Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.


You know it is going to be a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.


It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.


Mother Nature is a bitch.


Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.


When things just can't get any worse, they will.


Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.


No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right.


Always keep a record of data - it indicates you've been working.


In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.


Experiments should be reproducible - they should all fail in the same way.


Anything that begins well, ends badly. Anything that begins badly, ends worse.


If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.


What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.


The course of progress: Most things get steadily worse.


Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.


The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.


Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.


Too much of a good thing is wonderful.


It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.


You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.


If God intended men to smoke, He would have set him on fire.


It's better to have a horrible ending than to have horrors without end.


Never eat more than you can lift.


If today was a fish, I'd throw it back in.


The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.


The 100% American is 99% an idiot.


There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes.


The whole purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others.


Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.


If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.


I'm prepared for all emergencies. But I'm totally unprepared for everyday life.


Ill-bred children are always displaying their pest manners.


The pants were very sad, they were depressed.


If a women changed her sex, what would her religion be? She would be a he-then.


New with a K in front is a Canoe.


He thought the formula for water was H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O, H-to-O.


Did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the road when one of them was assaulted?


It's bad luck to be superstitious.


Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.


Get forgiveness now - tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.


Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.


Cautious: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.


Schizophrenia beats being alone.


Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.


I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.


The more things change, the more they stay insane.


They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid.


If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.


Quick!! Act as if nothing has happened!


Keep grandma off the streets. Legalize bingo.

Ja, for dette var ikke dagens ord.... dette var mer for året...